Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize