How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
