direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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