Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
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Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
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Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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