So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
