Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
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Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
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Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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