Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
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