i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He did a backflip because drugs
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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