just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
My Higher Power is John Stamos
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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