carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
