every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
