Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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