For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
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I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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