I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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