mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
