Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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