this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
