We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
