I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
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