I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
