dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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