A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
