when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
