dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
