You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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