Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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