You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Can't talk, ducks in the car
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
