I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize