Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
