Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
