Barsexuality is the new black.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
