Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
