Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
