ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
