I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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