Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
