just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I want a musical about memes.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
