Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
