i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
