Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
