bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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