When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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