I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize