I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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