There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
