i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
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captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
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I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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