were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
