he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
