This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
