I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
