what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
