I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Randomize
