Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(714): View more from California

It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends

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(815): View more from Illinois

just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.

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(213): View more from California

the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(415): View more from California

this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.

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(607): View more from New York

do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?

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(304): View more from West Virginia

And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...

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