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• (424): View more from California

  The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (801): View more from Utah

  P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?

  (425): View more from Washington

  Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  We're not piercing ourselves today.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.

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