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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."

  (1-480): View more from Arizona

  SHUT IT DOWN.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.

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