Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana