I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.