He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
