If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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